Who’s your best friend mommy?

I was driving my kids to their first activity of the day yesterday and my youngest asked me a very poignant question: who’s your best friend mommy?

You see I used to think that my dear friends from college were my best friends and they were at the time.

When I first came back to God in 2010 my husband and I realized that I would turn to alcohol before turning to the Bible. So I gave drinking a brake for a couple years. And when you do that… well… your drinking and hanging out buddies want to drink. So you hardly see them and before you know it, it’s been years…

I started praying for friends and it came in the form of small group, service groups at church, neighborhood groups, your kids friends parents… It was great! But I had lost something that I really missed about my old friends: spontaneous fun.

The random calls to get together for no other reason than to just sit around, yes have a drink and talk.

North Raleigh is a very weird place. It has great wonderful Christians but they have no spontaneity, is that a word?! I planned a gathering at my house and someone told me to plan it three weeks ahead so people can “plan” accordingly! Really? It’s a potluck and I was hiring the babysitter.

Ok so this is starting to sound like a pitiful rant but, how can I make deep relationships if I have to plan things three weeks in advance?!?!?

I want to live life with my friends. Open door Pizza Fridays, knowing that if there is a game on then come over to watch it, if a big blockbuster is hot then we are getting sitters and going: all on a one day/hour notice!

(Now I realize that this may sound hard but the most important list is not what to do with your friends but a deep list of neighborhood sitters)

So I turned to my son to answer his question and said “not anyone I can really pinpoint honey”

After a couple minutes he told me “mommy I just prayed that God will give you a best friend”

At first it made me feel lonely and then it opened my eyes to one of Gods greatest gifts: the friendships I have received from my children and their willingness to pray for my needs. It was really sweet.

It also made me realize that I need to initiate this spontaneity. I think it makes me feel like my friends are more “real” if we do random unplanned activities. I already texted a girlfriend to see if she wants to get the two families together tonight. Funny thing is that she texted me her schedule for the rest of the week! LOL! They are coming over tomorrow night… We’re planners here in Raleigh!

It’s amazing how kids can turn the mirror of life on us. One little question and thru God lenses I feel better afterwards.

I have learned to turn to Jesus, the savior of my soul and my new best friend.

Happy Easter!


Here are the boys during our neighborhood Easter egg hunt.

He will never wear pants…


So my six year old refuses to wear pants. Only shorts. I understand that North Carolina is not that cold but really son?!?!?
Here he is in his four point stand. We had to take the picture twice cause he said the first one was “wrong.”


Fair time!

The kids and I went to the fair. And had a wonderful time. I cherish these moments. I love that I get to spend all day with them and



My disappointment with Earthfare

So lately I have not gone shopping at Earthfare. Here is the comment I made on the CEO’s website:

I just wanted to contact you because I am a loyal customer, spending 100 to 250 a week in groceries at the Raleigh Earthfare.  I was there the first week you opened; I have become friends with all your butchers, even calling them ahead of time to put orders in for our lamb chop crowns for Christmas last year and our roast on most Sundays. My kids even helped plant the garden on the side of Earthfare. So I am writing this because I want to go back to Earthfare but have had a very hard time walking thru your doors lately.

At the beginning of football season I asked the manager if he would consider sponsoring my kids football team by donating some juice boxes, oranges and a snack for 8 games to feed 28 kids that come from south Durham and whose parents work in RTP and all over the triangle area. I told him most of these parents do not know Earthfare but I thought it would be a good way to introduce Earthfare to the parents but most importantly it would give these kids a healthier option from the regular sugar drinks that show up after game-time.

His response was that since they were most likely not going to become loyal shoppers that it would not be something that they could sponsor.  Frankly Jack, I was disappointed. These parents do not shop at Eathfare because they don’t know that their kids would like healthy food! Why buy something that may be wasted is their mentality. There are many Americans that think a health food store just has sprouts, weird nut butters and kombucha to drink. These are also the folks that if they see a big banner or tent and their kids eating foods from a healthy market may consider walking thru the doors of Earthfare.  I realize you have a free dinner opportunity for kids on Thursday but I was suggesting Earthfare go to them.

Maybe I just needed to get this rejection off my chest.   If the CEO writes me back I’ll let ya know.  Things have to mull in me a bit before I can really let them go. I hope I can go back to Earthfare. My husband has been getting on me about shopping in other grocery stores.  He loves how local Earthfare is, their meat, just everything really. We’ll see.


I love this!!

To GOD be the Glory!

Thank you Lord for listening.

Why is it that we who believe have to struggle with the flesh after we have the Holy Spirit in us? I realize that the Holy Spirit tugged at me as I reached for that decadent dessert but I still caved in.

These past 12 months has been so hard. I lost a baby while 4 months pregnant, got a blood clot that required me to stay off my feet with my leg elevated, and gained 20 pounds while going through all this.

Why did I reach for that dessert knowing that I need to put a hold on desserts until these 20 pounds are gone? I gave up alcohol a year ago (Sept 2011) and have not turned back. I realize that I couldn’t turn back to alcohol. My life would be lost if in my times of stress I turn to alcohol instead of God.
Maybe it’s that I don’t see that these 20 pounds are really going to be as disastrous as alcohol can be. But thas is the lie the enemy (satan) is playing with in my head.

I know it’s a lie because:
• I don’t do things for the Lord because I have a lower self-esteem.
• I feel yucky and unhealthy in my skin and say all kinds of mean and evil things to myself.
• I have a shorter temper and am moody.
• My wardrobe has gone to the side and I’m wearing terrible clothes because I don’t have anything that fits.
• I can’t run my miles and get that invigorating feeling when you take a deep breath a couple miles into my run and look forward to the miles coming ahead.
• I am becoming more recluse with my friends and family for fear that they will comment or give me “that look” that says “my you’ve gained some weight.”

The Lord does not want me to go through this! When he tugs at me I want to listen, respond, flee and not give in to the temptation! Open my bible, read, pray, meditate on His words.

18 “Remember not the former things,
    nor consider the things of old.
19 Behold, I am doing a new thing;
    now it springs forth, do you not perceive it?
I will make a way in the wilderness
     and rivers in the desert.
Isaiah 43:18-19
 Oh Lord, help me!
I realize that the flesh is still going to be the flesh. In the name of Jesus Christ I rebuke my unhealthy eating temptations!  
Lord, move in my life, open my eyes to blind spots I have about my eating habits.  
Lord I praise you and I know that you can make these changes in me.  
Lord, I give it up to you.
Just as I was more in love with you than having a glass a wine, Lord please change my heart so that I turn to you instead of food or sugar.
Thank you Lord for listening.

Do you have temptations that you need prayer in? I believe that when we write things down like my list above that it helps let us know how the enemy is trying to fool us out of the freedom our Christ gives us.

Feel free to put your prayer and prayer request below. And if you read this post then please pray for the prayer request. I will too.

Field Day

Here a list of games we play on the field and around our house.

Rope Tow
Dodge ball
Capture the flag
Run relay
Whiffle ball
Freeze Tag
Hide and seek
Sardine Hide and seek
Red Rover
Ultimate Frisbee
Four Squares

The story of an Egg

We like eating the most sustainable food possible. We go to the farmers market and shop at Wholefoods and Earthfare. We try to stay local, we check our little ocean approved seafood card when we’re at restaurants… you get what kind of eating habits we have.  So when I see this video and it explains that we have been eating eggs that come from confined animals  it upsets me. I guess it upsets me because I have dabbled in the world of vegetarianism and vegan-ism and our family eats meat. I love the taste of meat and eggs and milk and cheese, oh cheese!

But I loose my appetite every time I consider how an animal, if in the wrong hands could suffer. And so we pay three times the amount for food as our neighbors so that we can have peace of mind. But again BIG Farming gets in the way of trying to have dignity while still eating these foods we love… the labels keep changing. And we as consumers have to be vigilant in keeping these animals from suffering.

My family will still be eating bacon in the years to come.  We just have to continue to find out where these animals are coming from.

I hope and pray that all my friends, old and new, realize what an amazing God we have.

I’ve had some instense last 24 hours. I found out one of my friends from college had been killed. His body was found on Monday morning.

I didn’t know my friend the last fifteen years of his life. We only had a few emails here and there and I knew he was doing really well in the business world.  I have such fun memories of him and I don’t remember him ever saying an ugly word about anyone. He had the best wit and his sense of humor was on spot.   I feel for his family and his hometown friends.  I have been praying on and off for the last 24 hours.

I kept asking myself, did we talk about God? I hope that we did. His father died during our friendship and he came by my dorm one night and we went on a couple hour drive and talked. So I assume we talked about life and death and our eternal truths. At the time I had not given my life to Christ so I don’t really know if I shared the Gospel, the story of God’s master plan for us. I don’t know if he ever understood the Gospel. I didn’t understand it myself until about a year and a half ago so I hope he got to know it too.

Last night I woke up at 3:30am and could not stop thinking of the Gospel.  I know God was consoling me, he was very loving to me as I prayed in the wee hours of this morning. He was also telling me that there are friends around me that need to hear how much he loves them.  

I did what a lazy x-generational would do; I posted it on Facebook. Here is my post:

I have to get this off my chest: When Jesus was born a baby he was part of a master plan with the holy spirit, the father and him. They are one God. From the beginning of time He created a humanity that could make the choice to let him lead our lives and choose him as our God. Every time we committed a sin we would find a perfect lamb and sacrifice it to reconcile us to him. He then became human so that we would use him as the sacrifice. Every time I turn my back to God and then want to reconcile with God, Jesus turns to the Father and says “yes, she believes, accept my apology on her behalf.” This has changed my life and has given me the power to live in Gods love, the love that created everything, and also use that love to face the demons in my heart and flush them out one by one. I’m a work in progress. To God be the glory.

Of course this is not enough. Everyday I have an opportunity to share his love to people around me. I praise God for the changes he has done in my life and praise him for giving me freedom from the bondage sin, pride and selfishness had on me.  His power is  getting stronger every day in my heart when I try to turn from myself.

I hope and pray that all my friends, old and new,  realize what an amazing God we have.

Here I am with my friend on the couch and another dear friend of mine sitting on the floor.

a WOW weekend

What an amazing weekend! The agenda was packed! Friday:  we went to Saint Rafael for an enactment of the Stations of the Cross, volunteer seating people at a church concert; watch that same concert the following hour. Saturday: make b-fast for my mom and dad, Easter egg hunt, Seat at the 4pm worship. Easter Sunday: seat at the 9am Sunday worship, worship at the 11am with some friends, swing by my friend  Diane’s for lunch, swing by my uncle’s house for dessert, swing by my small group for  Brinner( brunch at dinner.)

It all pretty much happened, except for my mother got super sick Friday night so I had to go pick up the kids on Saturday morning, b-fast was cancelled.  We added a family bike ride to Saturday which got the four of us some much needed time outside. Visiting my uncle’s house got cancelled since most of us couldn’t commit too much visit time.

On Sunday night while at was at the Brinner party I found a corner on a couch and reflected on the weekend and thought, wow what a weekend! But the MOST AMAZING part of the weekend was something I had no part in. I saw over 30 people get BAPTISED!

We can make so many plans for a big weekend like Easter and think our family is the center of the world; juggling kids, carpooling, getting in and out of the car to go here and there, changing clothes, getting ready for the next event.  But Really? What matters?

This weekend it was the baptisms. It was those people  who decided, no more me, now it’s time to follow a God that will die for me,  a God that will guide me in my heart thru the holy spirit, a God that will be my father in heaven thru all my trial and successes.

Simply Awesome.  He is Risen!